


This Has to Stop

by sans_souci2



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-01
Updated: 2011-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-24 05:37:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/259584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sans_souci2/pseuds/sans_souci2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it takes nearly losing someone to realize how much you care. Sometimes it takes even more than that to admit it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Has to Stop

_Thursday, late afternoon…_

It’s a simple, stupid job and should have been HPD’s but McGarrett insists they pick up a low life in Hilo because the scum bag has some vague, not even verified history with Sang Min. Chances are slim to none it will pan out, but anything with even a snowball's chance in hell of jump starting Steve’s floundering case against Wo Fat gets balls against the wall treatment.

Once they find the place, it isn’t even the goon they serve the warrant on that turns the afternoon into a nightmare. Other than being incredibly ugly and in need of dental care, the guy’s a pushover.

McGarrett’s the first to hear it-a soft little muffled cry coming from upstairs.

When their man insists he’s the only one in the house and they hear the cry again, McGarrett barrels up the stairs. Before he can follow, Danny has to handcuff Mr. Crap for Teeth to the stair railing, which puts him upstairs just as a much uglier and bigger version of their man comes charging out of a closet and knocks McGarrett on his ass. Danny yells for him to put his hands up and takes aim but the guy’s fast and slides behind MCGarrett who’s just getting up and must have hit his head because he's moving slow. Before either of them knows it, the bastard has a motherfucker of a hunting knife pressed up against Steve's neck.

“I’ll kill him! I swear to God I will!” The man's shirtless and huge with full body tats which means he's Yakusa, not Bosozuku, a distinction that guarantees he won't hesitate to make good on his threat.

Danny’s heart is hammering so fast it feels like his chest is about to explode, “Don’t be stupid- drop the knife!” He yells out the same warning he's screamed hundreds of times before but this time his voice is shaky and distorted and sounds like it has to be someone else's. The bastard with the knife against McGarrett’s throat glances at the closet and Danny knows with sickening certainty that's where the whimper they heard came from and that there's probably some teenage girl in there who has just had the most unthinkable things done to her. The asshole holding Steve yells, “How about you drop the gun Haole!”

Then he presses the knife in just enough to draw a thin red line of blood.

This is going nowhere fast.

The shit eating grin the guy flashes Danny just begs him to shoot so he gives Steve the eyes to the ceiling signal-the one that tells him to do anything he can to break free because bullets are about to fly. Apparently the perp sees the signal and decides he wants to die for a good cause because right before a bullet slams into his head he slices McGarrett’s neck.

Make that, he tries to.

Literally a millisecond before Danny fires, Steve reaches for the knife and torques his body sideways, driving a shoulder into the man’s chest and throwing him off balance enough for his knife to slice at him wildly. Where it lands is better than his neck but the knife’s wicked and the wound it makes is deep. Shocked, Steve drops to his knees and stares at the ooze of dark red blood flowing over his hand.

Danny sees him drop and sees the blood and wants to race to him but first he has to be sure the perp is dead. A whimpering sound is still coming from the closest and the guy downstairs is screaming to be un-cuffed but the thing that’s the loudest is what sounds like a thundering train in his head. He can smell the sweet coppery scent of blood when he finally kneels next to Steve, who’s still on his knees but has dropped down so he’s sitting on his heels with his arms wrapped around his middle. Based on how much blood he’s seeing, Danny guesses it's his gut and that scares him out of his mind, “Oh God no. Please, Steve, please don't do this...” The words spill out before he even knows what he's saying.

“It’s not that bad-”

“Shh, don’t talk,” He puts one arm around him and smooths a hand over his forehead. His hands are shaking, his ears are ringing, and he feels like crying and screaming at the same time. "Don't you dare fucking scare me like this, I swear to God I'm going to kill you if you don't die. Here-you gotta' lay down,”

Of course, crazy McGarrett fights him when he tries to ease him down on the floor. The idiot even tries to talk some more,“ I told you... it’s not that bad.”

 _What the fuck?_

His voice sounds damn good to Danny and when he leans in close to find out why, Steve lifts his arm and shows him it's the arm under it that’s bleeding-not his gut. Thank you Jesus. There’s a long ugly gash that runs from Steve’s bicep to his forearm. It’s bad and it’s pumping out blood but it’s not going to kill him and Danny’s so damn relieved he babbles like a crazy man as he rips off his own shirt to make a bandage. "Okay you just scared the shit out of me just then-I swear to God for a split second I imagined you bleeding out before I could get help and nearly fucking lost it!”

Confusion joins the pained look on Steve's face-he bites his lip, not really knowing what to say.

Danny opts for damage control- even though his hands and voice are still shaking he somehow manages to switch to a half hearted rant about running into rooms without back-up. Classically, Steve's face reverts to his usual clenched jaw-I did nothing wrong expression.

Soon Steve is bandaged and whisked off to the hospital and a HPD detective shows up to take over the scene. Before he briefs the detective Danny finds a sink and tries to wash up. Watching Steve's blood turn the water bright red makes him remember when he first saw it seeping through his hands and how insanely terrified he’d been.

What the hell is wrong with him?

As he watches the red tinged water finally run clear he makes a vow. _This has to stop._

 

______~________

 _Thursday - early evening…_

Chin calls from the hospital and it turns out Steve had to go to the OR to have his arm sutured. "They say he might be able to go home afterwards but since it's late, they'll probably keep him overnight and discharge him in the morning."

"But he's okay?"

"Yeah, I got to see him- he's okay but he's pissed they cut his pants off instead of unzipping them." Chin chuckles, "Can you picture our boy as a patient?”

Danny says yes, but in his head says God yes. He can see Steve being pissed but he can see a lot more. Even though it's not major surgery, he can picture Steve waking up and being in pain and maybe puking because that's what anesthesia does to him. He's going to hate this this and Danny knows he could make it better. Oh God. He wants to be there for him so bad he aches.

"So you heading over here?"

"No," Danny says it like it doesn't almost choke him, "he's probably going to be too out of it to even know I'm there. I got to get cleaned up and finish the paper work on this shit show."

“You okay brah?”

“I’m fine-what's not to like about another fun day watching Steve try to get killed?”

“Sounds like you kept him from doing it, though.”

“Today I did.”

“I hear you. Hey listen, why don't you swing by here after you get cleaned up? Kono's here-I’m here. The three of us can grab some dinner once we get Steve squared away, how about it?”

“No thanks. It sounds like you guys have everything covered and I'm really beat.”

Chin says okay but shakes his head as he hangs up. Damn haoles can be so weird.

___~___

 _Friday-morning…_

Chin walks in after picking Steve up from the hospital and depositing him at his house, surprised to find Danny going over a stack of photos with Kono. “Hey- thought I might see you at the hospital this morning. Steve did too.”

“I figured he didn’t need both of us fussing over him. How’s he doing?”

“You know Steve, he says fine.”

“And you say?”

“That he’s hurting and pissed he needed sixty stiches.”

“Sixty?" Danny’s gut clinches.

"Yeah they had to close him up in layers- said the lac went right down to bone."

Danny swallows the bile in his throat, "So he’s taking today off?”

“Nah, fool says he's coming in later.”

Oh shit.

“He needs to take the day off for God’s sake – you should have seen how much blood he lost.”

“I hear you and that‘s what I told him- it was just like when I used to give his Dad advice, though. They both think they’re one of those inflatable toys- you know the ones that bounce right back up after you knock them down?”

“Yeah.” Danny answers but he’s still trying to get the image of sixty sutures out of his head and thinking there's no way he can be here when Steve shows up.

“You okay Danny?” Kono asks softly

“ Yeah, I’m fine.”

_________~_________

When Chin tells them Steve is on his way in, Danny announces he has an informant to meet with and will check in after he’s done. Both of their eyebrows go up as he hurries out of the office.

“What do you think that's all about cuz?” Chin’s eyes narrow until they’re mere slits.

Kono shrugs, “Looks like somebody doesn’t want to see the boss. You think he’s mad at Steve?”

“No way. When he’s mad he rants.”

That earns a laugh.

“True that. So you’re thinking Steve's mad at him for not coming to the hospital?”

“No. I'm thinking he’s scared.”

“About?”

“I don’t know. Something about Steve getting hurt has him spooked.”

They both shake their heads. _Crazy haoles._  
_______~_______

 _Saturday_

The last person he wants to see is standing there when he opens the front door. It comes out sounding harsher than he means it to, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, Danny, where have you been?”

Christ. His arm is in a sling and he’s pale and looks mad and like he’s hurting.

“I’ve been right here- where most people are on a Saturday- in my own home- shitty as it is.” He says it in his usual irritated tone but his eyes are riveted on the sling supporting Steve’s arm and the way it forces his bicep up against his chest and makes it bulge even more than usual under his t-shirt sleeve, “So… how’s the arm?”

“It’s fine.”

“Fine? Really? So why the face?”

“There’s no face, I just want to know what’s going on with you.”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Well then why aren’t you asking me in?”

“Why should I? So you can make fun of my humble abode again?”

“No,” he winces then takes a quick shallow breath, “ so I can sit down and ask you why you’re acting so damn squirrely.”

Okay, maybe he’s faking it to play the sympathy card –Danny wouldn’t put it past him-but, the wince and the way Steve holds his breath afterwards are pretty convincing- he can't keep him standing there all day. “Fine, come in.” He steps back and follows Steve into the room, “Go ahead, take a seat.” Steve’s winces again when he sits down. “They give you any pain pills?”

“Yeah but I hate taking them- they make me feel like hell.”

“Well you look like you feel like hell right now - you want some Advil at least?”

As soon as he says it the voice in his head is all over him. “Oh wait, I forgot, of course you don’t’ - pain is your friend, right? Puts more SEAL hair on your chest.”

“Why are you pissed off at me?”

“Would you stop it! I’m not. Christ. This is starting to feel like the shit that went on between Rachel and I. The woman was forever telling me I was doing and thinking things I wasn’t.”

A tremor runs down Steve’s jaw and he takes a deep shaky breath, “Okay, let me start over. I was just surprised that you didn’t come to the hospital with Chin and Kono,

Jesus. Did he have any idea how hard it was to stay away?

It takes all the Jersey Danny has in him to sound as blithe as he does, “I checked in with Chin and he said you were going to be fine that they were just keeping you to let you sleep off the anesthesia- I figured you’d be zonked out and I really hate hospitals so I steered clear.” Steve’s looking at him all confused still a little angry and he immediately gets busy picking up newspapers and empty soda cans so he doesn't have to look back.

“Okay. I was just wondering.”

“Come on. It’s not like you were dying or anything.”

“Danny would you just cut the bull shit and tell me what’s eating you?”

“Yeah sure. I’d be happy to- “ He didn't plan this, he doesn't even know what exactly he's going to say but this thing, what ever it is, has to stop and there's only one way to make that happen. "It's you. You're the one who's eating me."

"What are you talking about?"

“You force me to join your little task force then go getting me shot or racing my ass around in car chases every other day which is your prerogative because you have full means and immunity and an ego the size of my beloved state. But, yesterday, when the shit hit the fan again I kind of snapped because, unlike you, I don’t feed on an adrenalin rush and the sight of my own blood. Unlike you, I have people I love, people I want to stay alive for!”

“I have people I want to stay alive for-”

“Oh yeah, who?”

Direct hit. Direct and below the belt. Steve looks like he’s just had all the air sucked out of him. Probably because it's what he's been trained to do, he deals with the injury by going on the offensive, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that. As far as the task force- are you serious? You really don’t want to be on Five–0?”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“I thought you liked Chin and Kono, I thought you and I made a good team?”

“Yeah sure maybe we do and yeah I like them but I like staying alive even better.”

“Okay fine.” Steve’s voice is steady but his eyes are pained, “If that’s what you want, fill out a transfer request Monday morning and I’ll sign it.”

“Good. Thank you.” Steve just keeps staring at him. “I said thank you, now what?”

“Nothing…” Steve stands up slowly, “I guess I'll see you Monday.”

“Yeah. Monday.”

_______~_________

 _Sunday_

The weekend is long and lonely and Danny nearly picks up the phone at least fifty times. There are only so many hours he can spend working out at the gym and cleaning the apartment and buying groceries- none of which he can seem to eat when he gets them home. The apartment feels like a prison cell but at least he can draw the curtains and turn up the air-conditioning and make his surroundings match the way he feels instead of mock him the way the sun drenched afternoon outside does.

He’s watched this movie at least five times and knows half the lines before they’re delivered but is still riveted by the way Tom Hanks fights to win back a job back he’s already too sick to go to. And damn Springsteen for that song-every time it plays, his eyes mist over- every single time, not just now when he feels this horrible.

The knock on his door is so soft at first he thinks it was just a random noise but then the second one is more insistent and he opens it warily. Chin’s face is impassive and Danny frowns, “Hey, what’s up?”

“That’s what I came here to ask you.”

“So I guess you heard?”

“Yeah, I heard.”

Chins eyes are definitely trying to see straight through him, he swears it, “And I guess you want to come in and talk me out of it?”

“I’d like to come in.”

“Fine- come on in and browbeat me for a while- it’s the new favorite pastime of the locals.”

Chin gets a few feet into the apartment and warps his arms around himself with a shudder, “You kidding me brah?”

“About leaving Five–0?”

“No about the temperature in this place.”

“Oh Christ. Fine, I’ll turn down the AC – I just don’t happen to have the same messed up internal thermostat you guys do- I actually find the temperature in here quite comfortable.”

“That why you have on sweats?”

“Sweats are comfortable. So are socks; I like them both. I like having my toes covered,” he glares at Chin’s sandals.

“Thanks for sharing that.”

“Eat me.”

“Nah, too cold- would hurt my teeth.”

Danny flips him off and drops down on the couch, “Okay let's get it over with- why am I making a huge mistake?”

“Good question. Why are you?”

“You prick. I’m pretty sure Steve told you that too but since you asked- the reason is I happen to want to be around when Gracie graduates from high school and from college and when she walks down the aisle. I want to make Step Stan jealous that it’s me giving her hand to the luckiest smuck who ever lived on the face of the earth. The more time I spend with Five-0 the lower my odds are of doing any of that.”

“Yeah yeah I get that, I wasn’t asking about Five-0, though.”

“Then what the hell were you asking?”

“Why you’re running from what you’re really running from.”

“Which is?” Danny’s starting to get a sick nervous thrum in his gut.

“Steve.”

Make that in his gut and in his chest and just about everywhere else. He swallows hard. “ I told you why, the man is a magnet for disaster, a beacon for bullets-”

“That’s not the real reason.”

“It’s not? Oh yeah, let’s not forget he’s also a menace to due process and a threat to constitutional rights and may well land me in a few nasty law suits.”

“Points all well made and taken, question still unanswered.”

“I’m losing you pal, what question?”

“Why are you so scared?”

“Ok, I give up. What do you want me to say?”

“I’m not going to put words in your mouth but I think you want out for an entirely different reason.”

Danny returns Chin’s piercing stare hoping he’s looking a lot calmer than he’s feeling and that Chin’s about done with this.

No such luck.

"Being afraid to go where your heart wants to take you is a big mistake.”

Danny huffs but feels like he’s going to pass out, “Wisely spoken Mr. Miyagi although I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Unperturbed, “I think you do and I think you’re worried about what people will think.” Chin shrugs, “People who care about you will be happy for you if you’re happy.”

“More inscrutable wisdom from the East.”

Chins chuckles softly and for the first time his eyes crinkle with amusement, “And one last thought before I’m get out of here and thaw my frozen bones,”

“Oh great- a trifecta of fortune cookie wisdom,”

“You have to believe that Fate dealt you the hand you’re meant to play and not discard the cards that scare you.”

“Well Chin all that makes sense but I don’t see how it pertains to me.” It was really remarkable that he could make his lips move and that his voice still worked given the full on assault Chin was lobbing at him,

“I think you do brah but if you don’t want to talk about it, I respect that. I just want to give you a little unsolicited advice because I care about you and I care about Steve.”

Danny’s face reddens and he stands up, “I appreciate that. Thank you very much.”

“Sure, so I'll see you Monday?” Chins is already at the door.

“Yeah…Monday.”

 

_________~__________

 

 _Sunday- evening…_

Even Gracie notices and asks him if he doesn’t feel good. He pooh-poohs her but after they hang up when he's sitting on the couch in the dark, answers honestly. You got that right monkey- Danno feels about as not good as he can. He drops his head back and closes his eyes. There’s no way he can go in to work tomorrow- he’ll cave and back down and be right back in the same insane boat. The thought of faking a family emergency crosses his mind but he’s too superstitious to play the card. A thunderous knock on the door suddenly makes his eyes fly open.

“Danny!”

Steve. Shit.

“Open the damn door-I know you’re in there-your car’s out here!”

His hearts racing so fast and he’s so damn scared he’s sure he’s losing his mind.

 

______~___________

 _Sunday, much later that evening…_

Make that for sure he’s lost his mind but now that they’ve finally have everything out in the open and he does mean everything, he’s lost it in a good way- in fact in the best possible way. He can’t help but grin as he glances down at their naked bodies-talk about everything out in open.

Talk about unbelievable. He, Daniel Williams has just had the ever loving life fucked out of him by a Neanderthal smart as shit, hot as hell, Navy SEAL and it’s right up there with the very best things that have ever happened to him, ever.

Christ. McGarrett is an animal in bed. He snickers to himself. No surprise the man is as talented and skilled at sex as he is at everything else. No telling what he would have accomplished without sixty stiches in his arm. Steve’s drifted off and is breathing slow and deep and feels so damn warm and good next to him that Danny takes one more long look before closing his eyes and letting his mind wander. He’s in that boneless, after sex fugue he hasn’t been in for he can’t even remember how long.

And just how did this nightmare end so damn incredibly well?

He replays the last hour in his head, still blown away that it really happened the way it did.

____~_____

 _Sunday evening-an hour ago…_

Just as he feared, McGarrett pounds on the door one more time then kicks the damn thing open-not picks the lock, kicks the door open with one wood shattering kick.

‘What are you doing you moron! You will so pay for that door!’ Those are the lines that should have come flying out of his mouth – at the very least a ‘What the fuck?’ was warranted but with the sick new way the cosmos has been rearranged, Danny just sits there watching Steve practically take down the floor lamp he's trying to turn on.

In Danny’s defense, Steve was quite a sight to stare at in his thin white t-shirt and low-slung jeans. Even furious, the asshole exuded sex. Hair disheveled, eyes a little too bright, cheeks flushed-hell, he looked like he’d just been fucked. Then Danny took a closer look and worried maybe he’d spiked a fever and was delirious.

“We need to talk Danny.”

He sure doesn’t sound sick or delirious. He sounds deadly serious.

“What do you… mean kicking in my door like that. “It isn’t up to Danny’s usual standards but he’s just glad his damn voice works at all.

“What do you mean sitting in here in the dark and not letting me in?”

“I guess I’m trying to tell you in the most blatant, shouldn't be hard for even a socially challenged GI Joe to understand way, that I don’t want to see you.”

Steve drops down into the only chair in the room, which means he’s directly across from Danny and staring at him with those bottomless grey blue eyes of his. “Well at least you’re finally being honest.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means ever since I got hurt Thursday you’ve gone out of your way not to see me – it’s nice of you to man up and finally admit it. Now why don’t you really grow some balls and tell me why?”

Is this what it feels like to have a heart attack? Danny wonders. He’s sweaty and clammy and his chest feels like a hundred pound weight is sitting dead center on it. _Tell him why?_ How about just kill himself, instead-it would be easier.

“I asked you a question, Danny.”

“Incorrect.” He listens to himself with mounting panic, “You threw out a rudely worded invitation to do something I find myself incapable of doing as much as I’d like to and as often as I’ve tried.”

Steve’s forehead creases and his eyebrows practically meet as he rears back in confusion, “English, please."

“ You want it dummied down? Okay fine. I’d love to be able to explain why I don’t want to see you – why the thought of seeing you makes my palms sweaty and my stomach go crazy, but I can’t. “

“Why can’t you Danny? Come on, just try.”

It’s that scene from a hundred movies and a thousand books where someone is right there on the cusp- finally about to come clean and lay his heart on the line. But this isn’t a movie- this is his life and he’s Danny Williams from New Jersey and if he does this he might ruin that life.

Steve leans forward, resting his good arm on his knee and shocking the hell out of Danny by looking like he’s about to cry, “Try Danny because I really can’t take this any longer.” His voice cracks on the last word.

Wait a minute. You can’t take this? Danny thought he was the only one going out of his mind but there’s a look and a tone and a whole lot more going on with Steve that he’s never seen or heard before. The guy looks a little desperate and a lot like he hasn’t slept in days.

Could that really make two of them?

Maybe it’s exhaustion or maybe it’s because Steve looks so damn helpless -it doesn’t really matter, but for some reason he’ll never quite understand, Danny leans forward and finally tries to put what’s been killing him into words.

“Okay. So when you got knifed- when I thought all that blood was coming from your gut and there was no way I was going to be able to stop it before you bled out, I …” he takes a deep breath and bites his lower lip. Steve nods for him to go on. “I nearly lost my fucking mind. It was the way I felt when I heard Gracie had been car jacked but even worse – it was like the universe was about to collapse and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.”

Steve shakes his head. He looks like he’s not quite ready to believe what he’s hearing and seeing. True to form, he throws facts on the fire to test its strength, “But it wasn’t that bad.”

It's one hell of a fire. Danny’s face is flushed and he’s breathing fast and holding onto Steve's eyes with a look that's so intense it's frightening, “But I didn’t know it then and until I knew it, I felt like I wanted to die along with you- like I couldn't stand to live if I lost you.”

A slow tentative smile starts to spread across Steve’s face, “It’s nice to hear you care.”

It's not a great response to someone who's just poured his heart out but this kind of thing isn't really Steve's forte.

Still, Danny wonders if he misread Steve; if the guy is laughing at him. Instead of clamming up, he decides he’s come this far and might as well get it all out, “Care? You have no fucking idea how much I care. Don’t ask me why or where it came from or when it’s going to stop but I can’t take a breath sometimes I care about you so much. It’s fucked up – I know it is – that’s why I’ve tried to stay away – why I told you I wanted out of Five-0…” Danny’s voice gives way to a shuddery sob and he drops his face in his hands which means he doesn’t’ see Steve get up. He does hear him cross the room and looks up.

“Come here you,“ Steve husks, sounding all sexy and in control, except his eyes are glistening too.

Danny lets himself be pulled up against the granite body in front of him; let’s Steve’s arms wrap around him and his lips brush over his forehead then looks up and lets them settle seriously on his mouth and kiss him so masterfully it sends a tremor through his very soul.

“You detective Williams,” Steve murmurs, “have been very remiss in your detective work if you think I would ever consider those feelings to be fucked up.”

He thinks he may have fallen asleep and this is just a dream but it’s a good one so he goes with it, “Yeah? You don't think I'm a ...mess?"

Steve rears back just enough to lock eyes with him, “No Danny, I don’t. In fact, hearing that you care about me half as much as I care about you is the best damn news I‘ve gotten in a long long time.” He takes a deep breath and gives Danny a look that goes straight to his dick, “But instead of sitting here talking about how good it feels I propose you get this couch converted into something that halfway resembles a bed and let me show you."

“The fuck? You sweet talk all your dates like that?”

Steve’s eyes crinkle, “No, just one of them.”

Danny glances down, not embarrassed in the least about the way his sweats are tented. He eyes the matching bulge in Steve's jeans appreciatively, “Okay you big gorilla- show me what you got.”

Steve helps him pull the bed out and they turn the light off and in very little time he's making noises he never knew he could and thanking all the Gods in the universe that he finally manned up and grew some balls and played the cards in his hand. Based on how he feels as he lays there utterly blissed out afterwards, it pretty much looks like there's a Royal Flush in his future.


End file.
